Pocket Watch Bob

Anyone want to read my story?

If you going to be negative, I suggest you keep your comments to yourself alright? It was 7pm on a Friday Night. Greg Harris stood at the bar of Crypt Tonight facing the dance floor watching the people dance; while drinking a Corona. As he stood there; a young lady walked up to the bar beside him asking the bartender for two dirty cosmo, two Bob Marley’s, and a Long Island Iced Tea. “Did you buy them for me” he asked?. She glanced at him smiling then pulled a twenty-dollar bill out of her pocket. She was tall, medium built,dark-complexion, short black hair with brown eyes. or should i put she was five-seven, medium built, attractive, dark-complexion with short curly black hair. Give me your advice.

Okay, okay, okay, before I answer your question, here:

“It was 7 p.m. on a Friday night. Greg Harris stood at the bar of Crypt Tonight, facing the dance floor and watching the people dance while drinking a Corona. As he stood there, a young lady walked up to the bar beside him, and asked the bartender for two dirty Cosmos, two Bob Marley’s, and a Long Island Iced Tea. “Did you buy them for me?” he asked. She glanced at him, smiling. She then pulled a twenty-dollar bill out of her pocket.”

Okay, there. Sorry, the grammar was bugging me.

Now for the question. How about something along the lines of, “She was tall, of medium build, and darkly toned, with short black curls circling her face.”

Hope that helped.

Bob Arno, world’s fastest-fingered pickpocket